Supernatural Fun Facts
by ParzivalHallows
Summary: ...because Chuck Norris jokes have just gotten so lame.
1. Dean Winchester

**Supernatural Fun Facts. **

**DEAN WINCHESTER FUN FACTS ~ **

Guns don't kill people. Dean Winchester kills people.

Dean Winchester is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Dean Winchester does not sleep. He waits.

Dean Winchester is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

Dean Winchester isn't cool. Cool models itself after Dean Winchester.

When Dean Winchester does a push-up, he doesn't lift himself up; he pushes the Earth down.

Dean Winchester is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of his head.

Dean Winchester gave Mona Lisa that smile.

Dean Winchester does not get frostbite, Dean Winchester bites frost.

Dean Winchester once visited the Virgin Islands. Now they are just The Islands.

Dean Winchester was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the world in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.

Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9% of germs. Dean Winchester can kill 100% of germs whenever the fuck he wants.

Dean Winchester does not pop his collar. His shirts just get erections whenever they touch his body.

Dean Winchester has to have a concealed weapon license in all 50 states in order to legally wear pants.

Superman wears Dean Winchester pajamas.

Dean Winchester's watch has no numbers on it, it just says "Time to Kick Ass".

Dean Winchester puts the "laughter" into "manslaughter".

Dean Winchester once had a heart attack, his heart lost.

When Dean Winchester exorcises, the machine gets stronger.

Dean Winchester does not use pickup lines, he simply says "Now".

When Dean Winchester enters a room, he does not turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.

When Dean Winchester breaks the law, the law doesn't heal.

Elvis left the building because Dean Winchester showed up and told him to get the fuck out.

Dean Winchester can tell John Locke what he can't do.

The answer to every mystery on Lost is Dean Winchester.

Dean Winchester created hell. He's so hot the place caught on fire.

Dean Winchester is the reason rock music is awesome, if he likes it everyone does, or they are in for a bit of Dean time.

Dean Winchester can kill two stones with one bird.

Dean Winchester's hand is the only thing that can beat Royal Flush.

Dean Winchester CAN believe it's not butter.

For some reason, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Dean Winchester, each testicle is larger than the other one.

Dean Winchester doesn't bowl strikes; he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.

Dean Winchester can touch MC Hammer.

Dean Winchester does not own a stove, oven, or microwave, because revenge is a dish best served cold.

In the bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Dean Winchester turned that wine into beer.

Dean Winchester doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.

Dean Winchester once punched a man in the soul.

Dean Winchester can find the needle in the haystack.

Before he forgot a gift for Dean Winchester, Santa did in fact exist.

When Dean Winchester runs with scissors, other people get hurt.

It's no use crying over spilt milk…unless its Dean Winchester's spilt milk because then you're gonna die.

Similar to a Russian nesting doll, if you were to break Dean Winchester open, you would find another Dean inside, only smaller and angrier.

Contrary to popular belief, there is in fact enough Dean Winchester to go around.

When a tree falls in the forest, does anybody hear it? Yes, Dean Winchester hears it. Dean Winchester hears everything.

If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Dean Winchester were to go back in time and fight himself, he would win. Period.

Guns don't kill demons, Dean Winchester kills demons. The gun just distracts them.

Apple pays Dean Winchester 99 cents every time he listens to a song.

If you have 5 dollars, and Dean Winchester has 5 dollars, Dean Winchester has more money than you.

Dean Winchester can sneeze with his eyes open.

Dean Winchester destroyed the periodic table of elements. He only acknowledges the element of surprise.

Dean Winchester once ate an entire cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

Edward Cullen checks under his bed for Dean Winchester.

Dean Winchester has no fear, he IS the fear.

Dean Winchester once smiled at a demon, and it turned into an angel.

Dean Winchester is a vegetarian. Meaning he puts animals in a vegetative state with his fists before he eats them.

**Courtesy of Supernatural-Fan-Wiki. www (dot) supernatural-fan-wiki (dot) com**


	2. Sam Winchester

**Supernatural fun facts **

**SAM WINCHESTER FUN FACTS ~ **

Sam Winchester counted to infinity. Twice.

Sam Winchester's smile once brought a puppy back to life.

Sam Winchester can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

Sam Winchester doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Sam Winchester can divide by zero.

When Sam Winchester falls in water, Sam Winchester doesn't get wet. Water gets Sam Winchester.

Sam Winchester got perfect scores on his SAT's, simply for writing "Sam Winchester" for every answer.

Sam Winchester doesn't wear a watch. HE decides what time it is.

Sam Winchester can slam a revolving door.

Sam Winchester can speak Braille.

Sam Winchester sleeps with a nightlight, not because Sam is afraid of the dark, but because the dark is afraid of Sam Winchester.

Sam Winchester can build a snowman out of rain.

Sam Winchester once finished "the song that never ends"

When Sam Winchester gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.

Sam Winchester was offered the role of Frodo in Lord of the Rings. He declined, saying "only a pussy would need 3 movies to destroy a piece of jewelry."

Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Sam Winchester's computer will crash.

The only time Sam Winchester was wrong was when he thought he made a mistake.

The last digit of Pi is Sam Winchester.

The immigrants come to America to see Sam Winchester.

Sam Winchester is actually Jeeves from AskJeeves.

Sam Winchester is the reason his house caught fire; he's so hot the curtains got the fire.

Sam Winchester is the reason the dead come back to life.

If you have a child that's missing, call Sam Winchester, he'll look so hard he will find that kid in a second.

Sam Winchester does not use spellcheck. If he happens to misspell a word, dictionaries will simply change the actual spelling of it.

Sam Winchester can mix oil and vinegar. Permanently.

Sam Winchester can hear silence.

Sam Winchester played Russian Reulette with a fully loaded gun. And won.

Sam Winchester can have his cake AND eat it too.

Sam Winchester can give a female demon a heart attack just by smiling at her.

There is no ctrl button on Sam Winchester's computer. Sam Winchester is always in control.

Sam Winchester can win a staring contest with a picture.

Sam Winchester once won a game of connect four in 3 moves.

Sam Winchester can delete the recycling bin.

When standing next to Sam Winchester even the biggest genius feels dumb.

When Sam Winchester brushes his hair in the morning, a hurricane starts on the other side of the world.

**Courtesy of Supernatural Fan Wiki! www (dot) supernatural-fan-wiki (dot) com**

**Go there! You won't regret it! (My username is warriorsgirl)**


	3. John Winchester

**Supernatural Fun Facts.**

**JOHN WINCHESTER FUN FACTS ~ **

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of animals John Winchester allows to live.

Brokeback Mountain is what John Winchester calls the pile of dead demons he leaves in his wake.

The chief export of John Winchester is pain

John Winchester has two speeds: walk and kill

John Winchester doesn't go hunting, John Winchester goes killing

In an average room there are 1,242 objects John Winchester could use to kill you, including the room itself.

If you can see John Winchester, he can see you. If you can't see John Winchester it's already too late.

John Winchester once shot down a German plane by pointing his finger and yelling "bang!"

When the boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for John Winchester

There is no such thing as global warming. John Winchester was cold, so he turned the sun up.

John Winchester can lead a horse to water AND make it drink

John Winchester can drown a fish

Ghosts are actually caused by John Winchester killing faster than death can process.

It is considered a great accomplishment to go down Niagra Falls in a wooden barrel. John Winchester can go up Niagra falls in a cardboard box.

John Winchester sold his soul to a demon for his rugged good looks and unparalleled hunting ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, John punched the demon in the face and took his soul back. The demon, who appreciates the irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but John Winchester says it's beef, then it's fucking beef.

John Winchester's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd because no one fools John Winchester.

A man once asked John Winchester if his real name was Jonathan. John did not answer, he simply stared at the man until his head exploded.

A cobra once bit John Winchester in the leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

A unicorn once kicked John Winchester. That is why they no longer exist.

John Winchester does not play "hide and seek". He plays "hide and pray I don't find you".

When John Winchester answers the phone, he says "go." This is permission for you to start speaking; this is your cue to start running for your life.

Crop Circles are John Winchester's way of telling the world that sometimes corn just needs to lie the fuck down.

On Neil Armstrong's second step on the moon, he found a note that said: "John Winchester was here".

When you are sick, call John Winchester. He will MAKE the sickness go away.

John Winchester owns his own private estate. We know it as the Bermuda Triangle. John does not tolerate trespassers.

John Winchester was born in a log cabin that he built with his bare hands.

John Winchester can kick-start a car.

When John Winchester was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap John Winchester.

John Winchester grinds the coffee with his teeth and boils the water with rage.

When John Winchester dials a 1-900 number, he doesn't get charged. He just holds the phone upside-down and money comes out.

John Winchester always knows the EXACT location of Carmen San Diego.

When John Winchester is up against death, death dies.

A meteor never killed the dinosaurs, John Winchester just went on a hunting trip.

**Courtesy of Supernatural Fan Wiki! Please visit! **


	4. The Winchesters

**Supernatural Fun Facts.**

**THE WINCHESTERS ~ **

Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a Supernatural marathon on Satellite TV.

Outer Space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with the Winchesters.

Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it's a Winchestership.

When an episode of Supernatural aired in France, the French surrendered to the Winchesters just to be on the safe side.

There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, the Winchesters live in Kansas.

One of the Winchesters took my virginity, and one of them will take yours too. If you're saying "that's impossible, I already lost my virginity!" then you are dead wrong.

There is something that is perfect. The Winchesters are perfect.

There is no global warming, the Winchesters hotness just radiated.

Every two seconds someone in the United States needs blood, all of it due to the Winchesters.

If you want a list of the Winchesters enemies, just check the extinct species list.

Demons want to grow up to be just like the Winchesters. Instead they grow up to be killed by the Winchesters.

The Seven Deadly Sins keep the Winchesters _out _of Hell.

The Winchesters are the reason the Cullens are vegetarians.


	5. Bobby Singer

**Supernatural Fun Facts.**

**BOBBY SINGER ~ **

Bobby Singer knows no fear…but fear is known to hide from Bobby Singer.

Bobby Singer is a fact.

Bobby Singer knows the square root of -2.

Bobby Singer would have found and destroyed every Horcrux by Chapter 2 of the Sorcerer's Stone.

Bobby Singer discovered America.

Santa Clause goes to the mall to sit on Bobby Singer's lap.

Bobby Singer can make it rain cats and dogs.

Bobby Singer can lock a door without a key.

When Bobby Singer looks at the sun, it starts cooling.

There is no global warming, only the earth's fear of Bobby Singer.

Bobby Singer showed Lassie how to come home.

Moses did not part the sea. Bobby Singer did it from the other side.

Bobby Singer knows who let the dogs out.

Bobby Singer does not run out of bullets, bullets run out of Bobby Singer.

When Bobby Singer needs money from the ATM, he just thinks about the number and money will come out.

Bobby Singer can get a touchdown in baseball.

Bobby Singer can win a game in UNO without throwing away his cards.

If Bobby Singer preformed in 300, the film would have been called 1.

When Bobby Singer played the game of Life, it turned in to the game of Death.

Bobby Singer doesn't take off his hats. If they happen to get dirty, they just grow right back clean.

Bobby Singer can see air.

Bobby Singer texts with his TV remote.

Bobby Singer once did steroids, and the pills got stronger.

Bobby Singer can get blackjack with one card.

If you get blackmail on Bobby Singer, he turns it into whitemail.

Bobby Singer can make an omelette without any eggs.

Bobby Singer invented volcanoes so he could finally have a nice hot bath.

Bobby Singer adds Facebook as a friend.

Bobby Singer can judge a book by its cover.

The wind is Bobby Singer breathing.

Bill Gates calls Bobby Singer for tech support.

Bobby Singer allowed Edward Cullen to live for a 107 years, just to make fun of him.

Hitler committed suicide because he found out Bobby Singer was coming for him.

Every bone inside Bobby Singer is his funny bone, because he laughs when you hit him.

Bobby Singer doesn't fire guns, the bullets run away from him.

Bobby Singer doesn't pick up his food to eat it. He commands it to enter his mouth.

Luke wanted to know the ways of the Force. The Force wanted to know the ways of Bobby Singer.

Once Bobby Singer met a man on a horse he didn't like. We now know him as the headless horseman.

They say, "Behind every great man there is a women". Behind Bobby Singer there is Bobby Singer.

When Bobby Singer cuts onions, the onions cry.

Bobby Singer can make words hurt you.

Bobby Singer knows when it's real.

Bobby Singer doesn't need to try, try again. He always succeeds.

Croatoan is Bobby Singer's nickname.

**Please review!**


	6. Castiel

**Supernatural Fun Facts. **

**CASTIEL ~**

Castiel doesn't travel, he just brings where he's going to him.

Castiel doesn't have to do anything for a Klondike Bar.

Castiel doesn't think, he knows.

Castiel DID catch 'em all

Castiel's weakness is Castiel. 'Nuff said.

Castiel is the only person to beat a fish in a breathing contest.

Castiel DID teach a fish poetry.

Castiel put the fear of God in God Himself

Castiel's shadow can be seen in total darkness

Lightning is too slow to strike Castiel

Hitler could never take over the world, because Castiel wouldn't allow it.

Lightning never strikes twice in the same place because it knows Castiel is looking for it.

Castiel doesn't need a costume for Halloween

God made light because the dark was too afraid of Castiel.

Castiel once let a demon live. Naw, just kidding.

Castiel learned to kill before he could crawl.

When Castiel buys a car the dealer pays HIM

If Castiel were to play the bad guy in a movie, the audience would die too

Castiel doesn't kill weeds, he dares them to grow.

There is a light at the end of every tunnel. Just pray it's not Castiel.

Microsoft Windows crashes every time Castiel blinks.

Castiel can write an autobiography about other people

Castiel doesn't need GPS: the world orients itself to where he wants to go

Castiel made Journey stop believing

Castiel once got caught on fire. The fire had to stop, drop, and roll.

If something is about to be destroyed or annihilated, they are on the brink of Castiel.

Castiel caught a bullet with the same gun he fired it from

Castiel made sure Arnold Schwarzenegger didn't come back

The oceans are filled with the tears of Castiel's victims

There is no such thing as air-conditioning, that is just Castiel breathing at a constant rate

The real threat to humanity is not global warming, it's Castiel.

Castiel knew that the bird is the word before the Trashmen did.

In the first Jurassic Park movie, the T-Rex wasn't chasing the jeep. Castiel was chasing the T-Rex AND the jeep.

Castiel is a pacifist. He can pass-a-fist right through your face.

Castiel once starved his dinner to death

Pluto isn't a planet anymore because it was proven to revolve around Castiel

Castiel can catch you without a Pokeball

Humpty Dumpty didn't actually have a great fall. He was pushed by Castiel.

God didn't kick Lucifer out of Heaven, he got Castiel to do it.

Castiel can call Lady Gaga whenever he wants. She can pick up, shut up, and listen.

Castiel's emails never come back "undelivered"

Castiel can stab a knife with a man

Contrary to popular belief, the Deathstar was destroyed by Castiel, not Luke Skywalker.

Castiel can hear sign language

Right angles used to be called wrong angles until Castiel said: "I can't see anything wrong with them."

Castiel IS the Force

God is hiding from Castiel because he knows he'll kick his ass when he finds him

Castiel wasn't originally on Supernatural, he had been replaced by another angel. When he found this out, he stared the other angel down until he exploded. Kripke made sure to never do that again.

Castiel can get to the center of a tootsie pop by staring at it.

**Please review!**


	7. Gabriel

**Supernatural Fun Facts.**

**GABRIEL ~ **

Gabriel once turned into a chocolate candy bar

Gabriel can blow a tornado away

All of Gabriel's genes are dominant

Gabriel talks about himself in the Fourth Person

Gabriel doesn't play God. Playing is for children.

Gabriel won a game of skate against Tony Hawk, on a piece of string.

When Gabriel enters a room, the room leaves

Gabriel can fall up

Contrary to popular belief, the Titanic didn't hit an iceberg. The ship was off-course and accidentally ran into Gabriel while he was doing the backstroke across the Atlantic.

The song "What if God was one of us" was Gabriel's way of trying to tell us something.

Gabriel loves animals. He wouldn't hurt any except, of course, Justin-Beavers.

The reason for the Earth's rotation is Gabriel walking.

Handicap parking spaces aren't for handicap people. It's actually Gabriel's spot and you will become handicap if you park there.

When Gabriel was young, Santa sat on his lap.

Frosty the Snowman melted himself because he knew Gabriel was watching him.

Cavemen didn't invent fire. Gabriel simply snapped his fingers and gave it to them.

Gabriel doesn't speak. Words try to escape his mouth.

If Gabriel was the villain in a game, you'll never win. But if he's the hero, it's unplayable, because nobody controls Gabriel.

When Gabriel was born he decided his birthday.

When Gabriel was born, science changed completely. Every time Scientists tried to prove something impossible, Gabriel did it.

What's faster, the speed of light or the speed of Gabriel? Stupid question.

Gabriel can burn you with water

Gabriel can draw a perfect circle with a ruler.

Gabriel called McDonalds through the television.

Gabriel once gave himself a high five with one hand.

Death once took on Gabriel. He regretted it.

Gabriel can hear your text messages.

When Gabriel crosses the street, the cars have to look both ways.

Gabriel uses pepper spray to spice up his steaks.

Gabriel has stared Fear in the face…and Fear looked away.

Got milk? No, Gabriel has it.

Gabriel doesn't get hit by cars. They get hit by HIM.

Gabriel doesn't need a milkshake to bring all the boys to the yard.

Gabriel eats pancakes for breakfast every night.

Gabriel keeps his friends close and his enemies dead

At Wendy's, only Gabriel knows when it's real.

The Dead Sea was formally known as the Living Sea…until it met Gabriel.

Aliens do exist. They're just waiting for Gabriel to die before they attack.

Gabriel once stared at the sun for hours. Then the sun blinked.

Gabriel doesn't drink because of his effect on alcohol.

Gabriel doesn't have a shadow

The reason you aren't supposed to go down a "dead end" road is because Gabriel is waiting there.

All wars stopped when Gabriel said: "Can I apply for the army?"

Gabriel's dog picks up after him

Gabriel put out a forest fire using only gasoline

Willy Wanka gave an everlasting gobstopper to Gabriel. The flavor lasted 2.3 seconds.

God once punched Gabriel in the face. He mysteriously disappeared. Now Gabriel tries not to crack up as Castiel searches the whole planet for him.

In a fight between Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee, Gabriel would win. No questions asked.

Gabriel doesn't get hurt. Hurt gets Gabriel.

When Gabriel catches on fire, he doesn't get burned. Fire get's Gabriel.

Gabriel doesn't go down with the ship. The ship goes down with Gabriel.

**Please review! **


	8. Crowley

**Supernatural Fun Facts.**

**CROWLEY ~ **

Crowley's yawns put people in comas.

When Crowley plays charades, his contestants go deaf.

Crowley doesn't have nightmares. Nightmares have Crowley.

Everyone on Facebook is Crowley's friend because if you aren't his friend you'll be dead.

Why is 6 scared of 7? Because Crowley is standing behind it.

Crowley is so sharp you can cut yourself just by looking at him.

Crowley killed his own shadow.

Crowley completed Halo Reach on Legendary without dying, using a Guitar Hero controller.

Crowley is the reason that the continents are separated.

There is no such thing as history. There is only what Crowley allows you to know.

When Crowley smokes, the cigarette gets cancer.

Crowley doesn't make mashed potatoes. The potatoes get so scared they kill themselves.

The only reason the world turns is because Crowley goes jogging every morning and forces the world backwards.

Thunder and Lightning were named after Crowley's fists.

It's impossible for Crowley to have a heart attack because it's is too afraid to arrest him.

Crowley is Anakin's father.

Whenever Crowley has a bad thought, a black hole appears.

The Hulk is angry because Crowley arm wrestled him, and won.

Crowley doesn't need detergent. He shouts the stains out of his clothes.

Crowley is America's next top model.

This year, Santa hopes that Crowley will bring him presents.

Crowley can moonwalk forward.

The Hulk doesn't wanna make Crowley angry.

Crowley once killed a man for living.

The Matrix is simply a figment of Crowley's imagination.

Crowley can choke you to life.

We all dream about perfection. Perfection dreams about Crowley.

The only word that rhyme's with orange is Crowley.

How many Crowleys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. The lightbulb would screw itself in out of fear.

Crowley CAN simply walk into Mordor.

Crowley can eat water.

Crowley can smell colors.

Crowley once pushed open a door that said "pull".

Fear is scared of Crowley.

The only reason Crowley is the King of Hell is because Lucifer is too scared to tell him otherwise.

Crowley put out a campfire, using only the campfire.

Bullets don't hurt Crowley, they heal him.

Crowley once got into a staring contest with his own reflection. On the fourth day, he won.

Crowley can speak French in Russian.

Ozzy Osborne once snorted a line of ants. Crowley once snorted a line of bricks.

Crowley knows how deep the rabbit hole is.

Crowley can dry clothes under water.

The cow jumped over the moon because Crowley threw it.

Crowley does not wear sunscreen. The sun needs protecting from Crowley.

Crowley once broke all the Ten Commandments in 1.3 seconds.

**Please review!**


	9. Ruby

**Supernatural Fun Facts.**

**RUBY ~ **

Ruby doesn't breath. She holds air hostage.

Ruby can sit while standing.

Jack the Ripper was never found because Ruby got to him first.

Shortly after Ricky Martin announced he was gay, Ruby scared him straight.

If you spell Ruby in scrabble, you win. Forever.

Cocaine is Ruby's dandruff.

Ruby can beat Forrest Gump at Ping Pong.

Ruby is the only person who can Terminate the Terminator.

Ruby can spell her name with numbers.

Ruby eats rainbows and tastes the skittles.

Ruby can punch a Cyclopes between the eye.

Ruby can annoy the annoying orange.

If at first you don't succeed, you were probably trying to defeat Ruby.

Ruby is not inside the Matrix. The Matrix is inside Ruby.

Ruby is.

Ruby carries a watch just so Time knows where she is.

Ruby can melt fire.

Ruby eats burnt marshmallows while they're still on fire.

When Ruby plays Monopoly, she wins $200 with each roll.

The only mind Edward Cullen cannot read is Bella's. That's because Bella thinks about Ruby.

Ruby is the reason why the Dead Sea is dead.

Ruby once lit a fire on the bottom of a lake.

Ruby told a deaf man to shut up. And he did.

Disaster flirts with Ruby.

Ruby created Pluto by staring at Neptune.

Ruby once walked into a mine field. Nothing happened.

Ruby went rabbit hunting with a needle. She caught five deer and a terrorist.

Ruby can think backwards.

The only reason Forrest Gump kept running is because he thought Ruby was after him.

Ruby got a home run bowling.

Ruby drew a triangle with four sides.

Ruby sleeps with a pillow under her knife.

Ruby can win chest in -1 moves.

Ruby doesn't T-bag people. She sacks them.

Ruby can facebook through a calculator.

Ruby is the only person who can beat Ruby. And even she can't.

Ruby can juggle with nothing.

If Ruby were the star in 24, the show would be called 1.

Ruby makes air drumming sound fantastic.

Contrary to popular belief, Ruby doesn't travel at the speed of light, the speed of light travels at the speed of Ruby.

Ruby wasn't born. She just got tired of wearing her mother.

You either go to Heaven or to Ruby.

Ruby can do the Y.M.C.A with both hands down by her side.

Ruby is the reason why Professor X is in a wheelchair.

When lifting weights, Ruby can spot herself.

**Please review! **


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